Today I discovered The Internet Nobody Database and I really wish I hadn’t.
The site pretends to be a “satirical” encyclopedia of various on-line reviewers, albeit written from an incredibly snarky point of view. And that’s putting it very mildly.
What it really is, is a series of loosely connected hate-smears about reviewers on That Guy With the Glasses and Cinemassacre. Everyone is accused of being money-grubbing douchebags with no integrity and the reviewers’ personal lives are frequently sprinkled into the mix, as if the writers of the site can’t tell the difference between the character of the reviewer and the person behind it.
Their defense is that the site is “satirical” and that it is done in the name of “entertainment.” That’s fine, I can dig that. If that’s actually what they were doing.
I fail to see the “satire” in having an entire section of Spoony’s write-up dedicated to his break-up that kept him off the air for month, referring to both parties involved as whores. Spoony the Reviewer is not the same as Noah Antwiler and this fact is either lost on these writers, or they have a deep-seated, personal beef with the on-line reviewer community and use “satire” as an excuse to get away with their vitriol.
I mean, I think we can all agree on a few things. Yes, Doctor Insano is played out. Yes, Saun Fausz is overweight. Yes, Doug Walker makes money with his Nostalgia Critic gig. Yes, the constant cross-overs are distracting from the actual reviewing, and there’s a growing tendency towards storyline rather than actually reviewing the movie or game in question.
These, apparently, are crimes against humanity in the eyes of these numbheads. Because, damn it, it’s not up to the reviewer him/herself to decide what to do with their reviews! And, damn it, making money off the tons of hours put into writing, acting and editing a video review and the monetary investments on cameras, lighting and equipment is just such a capitalist dick-move! … Or am I missing their point here?
I can easily write something satirical about Spoony. In fact, I did. But I didn’t resort to personal attacks or vitriolic venom when I did it. I did so with respect and never once claimed that the Spoony in my game had anything to do with the real person Noah Antwiler.
I feel personally sorry on behalf of the entire on-line reviewer community, even though they probably give two shits about what I think.
What really kills me is that the assholes on this site pride themselves on “keep[ing] the humor intelligent” and not getting caught up in “e-drama.” Well, pot to kettle, you’re fucking black.
